I mostly play with the same people every week in our pub poker games. Some I’ve played with for a few years. I mostly know their games and they know mine. Depending on who is sitting at me table I generally know what type of game it’s going to be.
So when new faces turn up today there is a crackle of excitement. Everyone wants to be on their table. Sometimes new players turn up and do really well. They play aggressively in position and are good at reading people. You can tell it’s not their first time at a poker table by the way they play their hands, the bet sizing and the way they handle their chips. They are pretty rare.
Mostly new players see that their local pub is running a game. They used to play a bit with friends. Maybe they dabbled online. Why not give the local game a go? Whether they come back depends on a couple of things. Did they have fun and did they do well?
If neither happens, chances are we never see them again. I remember one guy who had his serious poker face on. No one said a word to him and he didn’t say a word to anyone in return. He patiently folded for an hour. He 3-bet from the big blind the first hand he played and the raiser called. He was all in on the turn, and of course his aces had been cracked by K8 flopping two pair.
He stormed off to his friends, pointing furiously behind him at the donkey who called a raise with K8. Rigged IMO. We never saw him again and I think that’s pretty sad.
I’m hoping the new players will be on my table, that they will give me their chips and have fun doing so.
Before the game starts I’m having a chat and a smoke with Terri the Dealer and Pirate Pete in the garden out the back. Pete and his Terri are discussing allotment politics. Pete and his girlfriend have been helping Terri out on her allotment, and very enthusiastic helpers they are. Pete has bought a load of tools and he is keen to tell me all about them. His pride and joy is his new scythe.
I remember when Pete first mentioned his girlfriend. He had just got back from visiting her. “She lives in Belgium.” He explained. “She’s a trans…”
In that moment my mind filled in the blank. Pete is a working class guy in his fifties, a painter and decorator. He was about to tell me his girlfriend was a transsexual. I’m cool with that, I won’t bat an eye. I’m a pretty open minded person and it’s 2013 and all that.
“She’s a translator.” He finishes. Oh that makes a lot more sense. But in a strange way I’m slightly disappointed.
As fascinating as the fate of Terri’s bay tree on her allotment is, there is a game of cards about to break out. We head in to pick our cards to see where we will be sitting. Good turn out tonight, three full tables. I’m on the table in the snug. So are the two new players.
I go to the table and see them already there so I introduce myself. Ameet, a swarthy guy in his late fifties and his friend Clair a white wine giggly woman in her thirties. Turns out they live locally, Clair used to play with friends and has persuaded Ameet to come along.
They sit down at the table next to each other, both to my right, and Clair places her hand ranking chart next to her. This should be fun.
Sitting to my left is Simpin who is a lot more chilled out these days. To his left is Gary. The Beard.
A few weeks earlier, Gary had found me and Beth on twitter and asked us if we knew when a playoff game would be. Beth gave him Jon’s number and I thought, “Shit, the cat is out of the bag now. What shall I do?”
Gary hadn’t been playing at the game for that long and I really didn’t know him. Pretty quiet guy with a beard, seemed to know what he was doing at the tables. I hadn’t really tangled in any big pots with him that I remembered, and I hadn’t written anything about him.
Sure enough I get a tweet a few hours later from Gary, “Enjoyed reading your poker blog although I dread to think what my nickname is! Bearded Donk maybe.”
I tweet him back that he plays OK and ask if he can maybe keep the blog quiet as it would kind of ruin it if everyone knew. I mean, it’s up to him and I probably can’t keep it secret for ever. He agreed to keep it quiet though.
I’m going to call Gary “The Beard.” He seems pretty proud of it, and to fair it is fairly impressive face fungus.
There’s a space left for a late player and completing the lie up is Worm. Yup, named after Ed Norton’s character in Rounders. Same nervous ticks, talks a mile a minute, always working on his chops. He has worked as a dealer at the Equal Chance for eighteen months and he loves his poker. Unfortunately Equal Chance is closing down, which is not really a big surprise. Worm doesn’t really want to talk about it.
Time to mix the cards up and hand them out to the players.
First hand I fold junk in early position and sit back to see how the table dynamics will work out. Sure enough Worm isolates the new players with a raise. I know I won’t be the only one with this tactic. It’s time to see how they play. Ameet gives him action and calls in the small blind.
Ameet calls Worm’s flop and turn bets. Each time the action is on him he asks what his options are. It’s nice to help the new players out so I tell him. “You can call, or you could raise…”
“Or you could fold. That is an option you know.” Adds Worm. I concede that it is indeed an option.
The river gets a few improbable straights there and Worm bets again, telling Ameet, “I’ll call any raise. I don’t care if you go all in, I’m not folding.” Ameet smiles and calls. Worm proudly tables his improbable straight and Ameet flips over his ace high. Well, well. I think we have a live one. All the other players lick their lips.
The next few hands see a few small pots won here and there. Ameet and Clare calling pre and folding to flop bets. Not much going to show down.
The Beard raises and Ameet is the only caller. It seems like the table is taking turns to tangle with our new friend. The Beard c-bets on an ace high flop and takes it down. Ameet shows his junk hand and The Beard tables his pair of kings.
“Woah. What if he’d had an ace there?” asks Simpin, admiring the fearlessness on the bet.
“I guess I’d be going home then.” replies The Beard.
The Worm tangles with Ameet again. They get to the river, Worm betting and getting called all the way, with a board of K8483. Worm has bet the river and Ameet is thinking. Again Worm gives him the speech; he won’t fold to any bet. Not even an all-in. No siree.
“Ok I’m all-in.” Says Ameet.
“Call. I’ve got trips. Trip eights.” Says Worm and show his 98o, ready to scoop the pot.
A smile spreads across Ameet’s face. It’s not ace high this time. He turns over a king. He turns over the other king. Worm has just been slow rolled and the other players are highly amused. Now Ameet is having fun and he has a pile of chips in front of him.
“Wow.” Worm says. “And you didn’t raise pre-flop with kings. It’s alright, I’ve still got just under my starting stack.” That wasn’t how that hand was supposed to play out.
Ameet goes on to make two more full houses in the next few hands. He also open folds the big blind on the flop after calling a raise pre. I guess you could call it a mixed bag.
I win a couple of small pots but can’t really get anything major going. A few players limp on my big blind and I’m hoping I have something half way decent to squeeze with. J6o. Nope. I check my option and four of us see a flop.
The flop is K66 with two spades. I bet out and get one caller, Clair. The turn is a 2h. Again I bet and she calls. She has a look at her hand ranking chart as the last cards falls, the 5s. This is possibly the easiest value bet in the world, but instead I decide to butcher the hand and check it to her. She checks behind and shows her king. She looks a bit disappointed when I show my trips. Nice pot for me but it should have been more.
Clair hasn’t won a pot yet, but seems to be having fun and is happy that her friend is doing well.
When Worm can’t get in a hand with the new players, he is calling Simpin’s raises in position and out playing him post flop. He’s caught a straight a few hands before that Simpin paid off with top pair. On a fairly dry board of low cards Simpin bet the flop and turn, putting most of his stack in but then checked the river. Worm moves all in and Simpin sigh folds and shows KQs.
“I missed. I can’t call with that.” He declares, bemoaning his bad luck. Worm shows him the K8 bluff, raising an eyebrow to indicate that he’d just taken him to school.
Just as this is happening Justin arrives to take the vacant seat. We’re playing 100/200 and he’s been blinded down a little bit. Justin is a tricky opponent, loose aggressive. He is one of the few people capable of floating with air and putting people to a decision for all his chips on big river bluffs. I’m going to try to avoid playing pots with him out of position.
I get dealt QQ under the gun and make it 600 to go. Justin calls in the cut off. Worm calls on the button. Great, the two tricky players have called in position. So much for that plan. The flop is 768 rainbow. I like this flop so I go for the cunning plan of betting for value, making it 1,100.
Justin calls. Worm calls. The turn is a 2.
Now, it’s not often I write about me making a good play, but I think this is one. You are free to disagree of course. I check.
With two agro players in the pot there is a good chance one of them will make a play here. It’s just too tempting to put the tight player on AK and steal the pot.
Justin has only played a few hands and once he’s in a pot he doesn’t like to give up too easily.
Justin obliges and bets 2,500 and Worm folds.
“I’m all in.” I say. Justin leans back in his chair with a groan. He grins over at me and begins his speech.
“You like your big pair eh? I’ve got a good draw here. Ah I’ve only just got here; I really don’t want to go out.”
I can see him mulling it over. He has outs and he likes to gamble, but this is for all his chips. Eventually he folds and I win a rare pot from Justin.
Simpin busts out and is replaced at our table by Beth just as I pick up the black kings. There are a few limpers so I make it 850 to go. Only one person calls, the new guy, Ameet. OK, time to tangle. This is my pot buddy, I got a premium hand here.
The flop is Ad 7d 3d. Ameet is first to act and bets 1,000.
Damn, stupid ace. But I can’t fold just yet. What is he up to with that bet? I call.
The turn is a 5s. Ameet says almost as a question, “Thousand?” and throws out another chip. I reluctantly throw in another chip to call. This is all going wrong but I want to see what he does on the river.
The final card is the Jc. Again in a questioning tone Ameet bets 2,000.
I look at him puzzled. Worm is looking at his phone but breaks off to mime at me the milking of a cow. I can’t disagree with that assessment.
“You really got a big ace there?” I ask Ameet and get a mischievous grin in return. Nothing about his demeanour says he’s bluffing. I’m remembering The Beard’s words about not folding kings from earlier Am I really going to be the guy who has to fold kings to the noob? This sucks.
I fold my kings face up. Ameet obliges and shows me his cards. He didn’t have an ace after all and for a moment I think I’ve just been horribly bluffed.
8dTd for the flopped flush. Well that was pretty annoying, but at least he’s pleased.
“Nice hand, well played.” I offer. I don’t do it a sarcastic voice but I’m sure you are aware that this translates roughly to, “WTF are you calling with that filth out of position against me for? What’s that you say? Suited? GTFO.”
Hey ho, not too much damage done.
Just before the break Clair’s poker game is brought to a brutal end. I get it all-in against her before the flop. She shows A7 but I got dem aces. A 7 on the flop gives her some hope, and me a mini-sweat, but I hold.
Clair takes it in good spirits and has clearly had fun. There is no eye rolling or “Fuck. Only playable hand I’ve had in an hour and he has to have aces. Why?” Those kinds of responses take years to learn. It takes hard study and thousands of hands before you can turn into a cynical burnt out husk of a pub poker grinder.
I get to the break having chipped up to a decent stack. Before I go out for a smoke I have a chat with Clair and Ameet to see if they’re are enjoying the game and try to make them feel welcome so they’ll come back. They give me a bemused look, so I leave them to it.
After the break we are down to two tables and it doesn’t take too long for the shorter stacks to bust. I can’t grab any of them but do steal a few blinds. In no time at all we are at the final table.
As I have been writing about people I play poker with on the interwebs for over a year I thought it was time I shared a picture. So here’s the final table from that night.
On my left is Isaac. He’s so good at the pokers that he can browse his i-pad for a new BMW at the same time. Next to him you can just about make out Kev “The River”, then Peter. Terri the Dealer is next, Welsh Tony in the hat, Worm and finally Steve the Buddhist.
The blinds are shooting up so no one has much more than 15bbs. Some people are opening for 2x, but mostly it’s a shove fest.
I win a 40/60 against chip leader Worm with KJ against his A2 with a lovely king on the turn. This is most unusual for me and Worm doesn’t look too happy about it as it chopped him down to a medium stack.
We’re soon down to four players and Worm asks about paying fourth place, well he would as he’s the shortest stack at the time after some ill-advised bluffing. I’ve got the most chips and Isaac is not far behind so we decide against it. I would soon come to regret that.
I shove AJ from the button and get called by Isaac, who looks up briefly from his car search to show me his aces. Damn. Shove KQ next hand and get called by AJ and I’m out for nowt, on the money bubble.
There has been lots of interesting dynamics tonight; some amusing banter and a few friendly beers over a game of cards. Despite the bubble it was the most fun I’d had in ages. That is the point right?
